- What will you be when you grow up?
Older, I expect.
I don’t know what I will be, but I know things I would like to be. I think I’d enjoy being a Renaissance Man – i.e. with some perspective and an illusion of depth. (Little art joke for you there Eugenia.)
- What makes you happy?
I know things that have happened to me in the past that have made me happy but whether they can be ‘re-staged’, I’m not sure. Lots of people I know make me happy – for reading this you’re likely to be one of them. I know that if I feel unhappy I’ll watch Harry Hill DVDs and roast marshmallows in the spare room over a tea light, but that probably doesn’t count.
- What is happiness?
I don’t know, sorry.
- Do you prefer the great outdoors or the great indoors? What do you do there?
I prefer the indoors I think. And maybe that’s why I like the city because it’s a big collection of indoorses. I tend to spend a lot of time there thinking “I should get out more”.
- Do you look at or avoid mirrors?
I don’t purposefully avoid them but I tend to forget to look in them, subconsciously or otherwise. Therefore I tend to turn up at my place of work not knowing how crap I look. I’m sure if you drew cartoon genitalia on my face in my sleep I wouldn’t know about it until I accidentally caught my reflection in the office espresso machine.
- What’s your favourite colour?
- Tell me about a song OR scene from a film that evokes a particular time, memory, experience, story for you…
I’m not much of a film person and I often find it difficult relating to the characters, so I guess the thing movie scenes usually evoke for me is that time I was sat watching them. So maybe I’ll do a music one.
OK last week I’d booked some DJs for a clubnight and then one of them, who I’d not met before, played ‘Je Veux Te Voir‘ by Yelle, and it reminded me of being at university and listening to it loads on headphones in my room of the house-share I was in, hiding from the ketamine addicts I’d accidentally ended up living with, thinking “I’d really like to be at a club where this is playing”. It took six years but when it happened I lost my freaking mind.
- What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?
I’d say the face of my baby sister the first time I made her laugh with one of my jokes. I say joke, it was mainly me rolling around on the floor going “WAAAAAAH!!”, but y’know that’s pretty sophisticated for a six-month-old audience. And compared to the rest of my material.
- If you have travel planned for the future, where will you go and what will you do there?
I’m going to the UK for my cousin’s wedding. We’ll do what people regularly do at weddings, I guess. Usually drink, usually dance, usually bubble.
- Ever wanted to know what it’s like in another person’s shoes? Who would you consider swapping a day in your life with? Why?
Not really, to be honest. There’s people in my life I really admire and aspire to be like, but I think that’s different from wanting to go through their experiences. I know a lot of people who have dealt with terrible shit in their lives and I think it is being sym/empathetic to appreciate that whatever it was, I do not want to know what it was like going through it. If you had the capability to give me the chance of experiencing someone else’s life the way they perceive it then yes, I admit I would be curious. But I wouldn’t be so desperate as to insist you create the contraption that could achieve this. So stop asking me for funding.
If I did though, I’d quite like to try out the life or an artist I like, but someone who doesn’t have a formula about what they do, who tends to just find ideas ‘happening’ to them. Does that make sense? I can’t think of a great example right now…this isn’t one, but I’m thinking of that story where Paul McCartney allegedly dreamt the melody for ‘Yesterday’ and had to wake up and write it down, but didn’t have any lyrics yet, so just called it ‘Scrambled Eggs’. Regardless of the lack of words, I wonder what the hell it must feel like waking up to find your brain has just farted into your mind one of the most popular songs ever written. Is it like an instant revelation, or something you acknowledge has promise but you’ll have to work really hard on to get right, or do you shrug it off and only appreciate it later? Do you know what I mean, Eugenia? Let’s swap lives for a bit, go on.
Oh, unless you literally mean, would I literally like to spend the day literally in someone else’s shoes, which would be a ‘no’ too. I like my shoes. I tend to give my shoes names, for that personal touch. The ones I have on right now are called Mulder & Scully.
Thomas Blatchford, email@example.com